geek.reborn - my life ramblings

If you havnt noticed, Ive somewhat stopped making new posts. Several reasons for this actually, the main one being college. I dont know if Im behind in class or if the class hasnt even started yet, thats how out of it all I am. I just sit there for seven hours every day doing nothing but starting at some girls picture from DeviantArt that I dont even know. A sad life it is, dont you think? Anyway, things have been…good? No, no they havnt. Things have been just blah! Neither good nor bad. Ive been feeling real shitty lately, guess its just realizing that Im no longer a kid and I cant act like one. If I do people stare at me weird…People who are in their 30’s or 40’s. Its just weird going to class with people who have kids who are in high school or something. I guess the biggest thing on my mind lately has been love, or the lack of it in my case. I see it everywhere…Just sitting in class I can see it across from me. During lunch I see people walking hand in hand. After school I see husbands come pick up their wife from college…Its all just making me depressed. Never really told anyone except Cassie this but I have yet to have a “real” girlfriend…To experience love completely, not just infatuation. To be loved back rather than it being a one way thing. The strange thing is people who have had plenty of girlfriends or boyfriends come to me for relationship advice heh. Little do they know Im the last person they should be asking. Well, guess thats all Im gonna blabber about today…Just wanna go lay down and drift away into the realm of sleep where everything Ive ever wanted and needed is the reality and all the mistakes and regrets in my life cease to exist. Goodnight to whoever reads this…Thanks by the way, to all who read it (all 10 or so of you heh). Nice knowing theres people out there, even if they be strangers, that are atleast interested or curious to see into my life.